Grace & Ground: Americans are Not Each Other's Enemies

At this point, would anyone even blink if it started raining frogs tomorrow morning? In this extraordinary moment of urgency and fear, it's easy to point fingers (or phalanges) and forget that we're one people.

Yes, we must hold our ground on matters of equity and justice, and we must also remember our compassion.

MAGA with Misgivings

Some of us are just now waking up to the significance of this moment in our country.

If this is you, you might have voted for Trump. You might have believed the talking points, trusted the talking heads, and followed your gut. Now . . . something isn’t sitting right. You’re seeing harm. You’re noticing lies. You’re realizing this goes deep.

That moment of waking up and realizing you've been misled and used is painful and difficult. And if this is you, I want to say something that might surprise you: You’re not my enemy.

You were played, but a lot of people were. This manipulation was part of a long game. It went after your fears, your values, your loyalty - all the parts of you that care. So if you're starting to question things even now, I see that. That takes guts.

But waking up is just the beginning.

Progressives with Vexations

Oh, NOW they're worried? Ya think!?

Where were they every day for the past nine years when we tried to tell them?

I get the frustration. Especially when people's past choices to ignore warnings has already led to alarming results, especially for people without privilege. But humans don’t always recognize harm when they’re living inside it, especially when harm comes wrapped in connection, clarity, confidence, or promises of safety. Blaming someone for believing their family, their pastor, their news anchor, their candidate is like blaming someone for their abusive relationship.

“Why didn’t you leave sooner?” is a small and cruel question.

It ignores how gaslighting works. It ignores fear, exhaustion, and survival mode.

A quiet protest sign on grass says everything about resistance that still holds space for grace.

The reasons why groups stay loyal to a political movements despite systemic violence are similar to the reasons why individuals stay loyal to partners despite domestic violence. People stay at first because they've been love bombed or given false security. Or maybe because at the time, they believed they weren't good enough for respect and kindness. People continue to stay because they’re ashamed, embarrassed, or scared. Because they’ve been told the problem is them. Because they feel like they will lose everything by leaving. Because they hope things will turn around if they just try harder or do their part better.

So when someone finally starts to see clearly, we can hold our ground and hold them accountable. We can also hold these boundaries without shutting the door on growth. We can be compassionate.

No, we don’t excuse racism, classism, homophobia, or cruelty. But we also don’t need to shame people who are earnestly trying to grow. It's not our job to turn human beings into symbols of their past mistakes. In fact, I suspect many who risk turning around already carry more shame than we realize

Tyrants with Tactics

Our real enemies are hard to see because they hide, dodge, and deceive. They sit on high and pretend to be untouchable. (They're not untouchable.) They are:

• Demagogues who lie with confidence.

• Corporations that profit off division and fear.

• Foreign actors trying to destabilize our communities.

• Billionaires who rewrite laws while we argue over scraps.

• Systems that were built to keep us tired, overwhelmed, and turned against each other.

We are not each other’s enemies. We're the American people, and our power is collective. By which I mean, we're strong when we stand together. Unbeatable, in fact. That's exactly why the bad guys want to keep us fighting with each other.

It is my educated hope that this moment we're experiencing, while a turning point, is not the end of our democracy. One day we will recover from this long-planned and played attack on America.

Americans with a Reckoning

Because our power is collective, it means we're in the same metaphorical boat. There are serious leaks in this boat, and we will certainly sink if we squabble about who forgot the oars or who brought the wrong map. The only thing that matters is patching holes and rowing together - at least until we reach solid ground.

I'm not saying to ignore past harms or offer blind trust, but I am saying that I appreciate the effort of anyone willing to pick up a bucket right now and start bailing.

The real enemies want us blaming our neighbors, fighting our family, and distrusting everyone who doesn't think exactly like us. But we don’t have to fall for it anymore. We can stand our ground. We can speak the truth. We can give grace when it’s earned. And we can love each other enough to ally against our common bullies.

Get past the danger, then debrief.